Nothing feels worse than being rejected. Wait, no scratch that… nothing feels worse than being not only rejected, but tormented with hateful words and jabbing jokes.
To many this may be just another day in our head.
Maybe you don’t even notice you’re doing it. You have been so hard on yourself for so long it’s just commonplace at this point.
“Dang, fatty, lay off the candy.”
“You messed up during your speech? You’re a failure!”
“You will never be able to lift as much as Kim, you’re too weak and have no drive…”
“You’re ugly today.”
“You have accomplished nothing with your life.”
Ok, ok I’m sure you get it by now. But the fact is that these words are wrong. They’re cruel and are leaving a deeper impression than we know. What you tell yourself, day in and day out, will eventually become truth. Subconsciously you believe these words and through that you are radiating your “truth” into the universe.
So, how do we go from picking ourselves apart every waking moment to loving ourselves? Good question! I believe that first and foremost it takes practice. Lots and lots of practice. I have been there- I’m still there, practicing every day! Every single day.
I believe that self-love is the best gift you can give yourself. It takes work, like I said, and not everyone is willing to put in the time to give themselves peace of mind. Before you try a new diet, new workout program, or anything that you believe will bring about acceptance- then I need you to read this: I always tell my clients to love themselves for where they are now. If they can do that, they can do anything. And do it well. You could be 300 lbs or 90 lbs, you could have acne or a perfect complexion, you could be the strongest person in the world or the weakest, BUT if you lack self-love you will NEVER know true peace or true happiness.
Here is my 6 tips for self-love and acceptance. Try it out and let me know how it works for you. If you really suffer from self loathing then I believe this process will be somewhat of a lifelong practice. Nothing wrong with that! A little extra lovin’ never hurt anyone. Who even puts an end date on stuff like that anyway? And like I said, I’m still a work in progress as well. ;)
Put an end to self-loathing. In order to let light in, you must open up the door! Do not allow yourself one more negative comment. If one starts to bubble up quick! stop it immediately and tell yourself a compliment instead. Keep doing this until you slay that dragon.
Create a weekly mantra. This is my absolute fave! It really works, trust me. Okay, grab an empty journal or notebook and write down some self-loving mantras that speak to your soul. Then write them down and keep them for reference. Every day take some time to meditate on one mantra. You can use mala beads (I do this), you can write it down over and over numerous times in your journal… just do what you have to do in order to ingrain that mantra into your head.
What do YOU bring to the table? Go deeper than the surface. Maybe you’re good at making others laugh or maybe you have a knack for community service. Write down character traits you possess that you are proud of. If you can’t think of any, ask a family member or friend. Don’t let yourself forget them.
Take care of yourself. Seems like a no-brainer. But it’s hard to say kind things about yourself if you shower infrequently, don’t make regular trips to the doctor & dentist, or take the time to keep your body active. No one feels good about themselves when they’re living that slob life. Take the time to take care of yourself regardless of what what you “feel” like doing. If you already keep yourself in pristine condition, try treating yourself to the occasional pedicure, massage, or a blowout!
Do a hobby, sport, pastime that you’re good at. This is pretty self explanatory. Dive into something that makes you feel successful because you want to know what success generates naturally? Yep! Self-satisfaction. And what if you’re not good at anything? Come on, we’re all good at something! Simply find something that lights you up and just go for it.
Surround yourself with positive people. Negative people? Ain’t nobody got time for that. Weed your garden of friends because... you can’t choose your coworkers and you can’t choose your family but by George you can choose your friends and you better make sure they’re good ones! You’re the average of the five people you hang out with most. If the majority of your friends spend their time building others up and giving love freely, how do you think that will influence your life?
Ohhhh I am so excited for you! This is such a real battle that many people face (women and men) and yet it’s considered ok. Don’t downplay yourself. Don’t talk negatively to yourself. Get some self-love going and you’ll be just fine. ❤️